Sleep during the newborn era feels elusive. Babies have to eat so often and can't sleep for very long and it just feels like an endless cycle of trying to put the baby to sleep so you can get enough sleep. If you can remember two things about sleep, remember this:
1) During the newborn's first month, they don't know that we like them to sleep at night and stay awake during the day. If they stay awake for more than 90 minutes at a time, it backfires in the overnight hours because a baby who doesn't sleep enough during the day is overstimulated and can't sleep well at night! So help your baby sleep for a stretch in between every feed and you will have a baby who sleeps better overnight.
2) realize that as adults we chunk our sleep to "accomplish" things and be productive for many hours. But with a newborn, you can't get big chunks of sleep anymore and it forces us to realize we can’t do all the things we are used to doing. And we want to remind you, that this is okay! You are not meant to be accomplished and productive during the newborn month. Once you wrap your head around that nugget of info you can start exploring how we can feel rested without big chunks of sleep.
Instead of focusing on what you are missing out on at night, it helps to start with how you can look at your time during the day. Look for opportunities to rest, such as:
- Making fewer decisions can feel restful.
- Not having to grocery shop can be restful.
- Not doing dishes or laundry or cooking can be restful.
- Eating foods that digest well can be restful for the digestive system.
- Putting your legs/feet up throughout the day can be restful.
- Closing your eyes for 30-60 seconds before pumping can be restful.
It's the pauses in the day from the ordinary tasks that add up to equal rest. The more rest you can find in the daytime, the less the overnight sleep lack will destroy you. We want to remind you that although it feels like it will never end, this stage is temporary. Find a friend or a postpartum doula to help you find rest.
If you are actively practicing all these things and your baby isn’t giving you more than an hour or two of sleep periodically in the first month or two, please reach out to us at Milkwell. We can help identify if the baby is asking for more to eat or is having pain from silent reflux or other digestive challenges.
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Milkwell Lactation & Feeding Solutions
1285 Broad St, Floor 2
Bloomfield, NJ 07003
